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We get many requests to use this copyrighted document and we are glad to let couple use it for their covenant marriages. We only ask a small favor of helping to support the site by visiting the bookstore and buying the PDF document for 59 cents (as well as another book/paper of interest, or two, as the Lord leads you). We put a lot into this site and are happy to provide the service to people but we do have some overhead to cover. Thank you. If you cite the article on your page, please link to our page, and give proper credit to Dr. Cobin for the work.
A Case for Evangelical Covenant Marriage
March 21, 2002
John Cobin, Ph.D.
Copyright © 2002 by John Cobin
This
brief paper attempts to set forth the biblical and legal rationale why
Evangelical Christians should reject the use of the state marriage license and
favor the use of a marriage covenant.[1] Essentially, the marriage covenant is formalized in a
marital document (or certificate) that states the vows made publicly, and both
the groom and the bride sign it. In
addition, the pastor(s) presiding over the ceremony, and at least two witnesses
(friends) of the groom and two of the bride also sign the document. For “by the mouth
of two or three witnesses every word may be established” (Deuteronomy 19:15;
Matthew 18:16; II Corinthians 13:1) and “a threefold cord is not quickly
broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12). As with
government-sanctioned marriage (and weddings), the public ceremony and
celebration remain intact, although the preacher’s words “by the powers vested
in me by the state of…” are eliminated.
As a result, there is little visible difference between the modern
state-sanctioned marriage and a covenant-based marriage. The formal process of marriage is
little changed by replacing the government-issued marriage license with the
marriage covenant certificate. That fact should hopefully serve to set at ease the minds of many traditionalists who might balk at the notion from the start. An example of a marriage covenant document is included in the appendix below.
Having set forth the basic idea of covenant marriage, what remains is to flesh out the
idea behind the institution of lawful marriage, the history of
government-sanctioned marriage in the United States, the modern use of covenant
marriages as a marital alternative to government-sponsored marriage, and why the issue should be important to modern
Evangelicals. Let the reader be careful to note that the kind of marriage heralded here is not
the same thing as the super-governmental “covenant” marriages legislated in
some U.S. states lately (e.g., Louisiana
[1997], Arizona
[1998], and Arkansas
[2001]).[2] A biblical marriage by covenant is nothing
more than an old-fashioned marriage by public vows. These vows are recorded in a formal contract
or pact and witnessed (signed) by qualified individuals, just as the
marriage bond between Boaz and Ruth was contracted (in detail) publicly
before formal and qualified witness (Ruth 4:1,10,11).
Who founded the marital
institution? What is marriage¾biblically speaking?
William Smith, in his entry
for "Marriage" in Smith's
Bible Dictionary (1901), provides the following helpful synopsis of the
origin and purpose of marriage.
The institution of marriage
dates from the time of man’s original creation. (Genesis
2:18-25). From Genesis
2:24 we may evolve the following principles: (1) The unity of man and wife,
as implied in her being formed out of man; (2) The indissolubleness of the
marriage bond, except on; the strongest grounds, (comp. Matthew
19:9); (3) Monogamy, as the original law of marriage; (4) The social
equality of man and wife; (5) The subordination of the wife to the husband. (1 Corinthians
11:8,9; 1 Timothy
2:13); (6) The respective duties of man and wife…Our Lord and his apostles
re-established the integrity and sanctity of the marriage bond by the following
measures: (a) by the confirmation of the original charter of marriage as the
basis on which all regulations were to be framed (Matthew
19:4,5); (b) by the restriction of divorce to the case of fornication, and
the prohibition of remarriage in all persons divorced on improper grounds (Matthew
5:32; 19:9;
Romans
7:3; 1 Corinthians
7:10,11); (c) by the enforcement of moral purity generally (Hebrews
13:4) etc., and especial formal condemnation of fornication (Acts
15:20).
R. A. Torrey, outlines the
theme in The New Topical Text Book (1897). He notes that marriage was a divinely
instituted relationship between one man and one woman (Genesis
2:24). It is a covenant relationship (Malachi
2:4) which was designed for the happiness of man (Genesis
2:18), the increase of the human population (Genesis
1:28; 9:1),
raising up godly seed (Malachi
2:15), and preventing fornication (1 Corinthians
7:2). It is lawful and honorable
for all people (1 Corinthians
7:2,28; 1 Timothy
5:14; Hebrews
13:4) but Christians must marry “only in the Lord” (1 Corinthians
7:39).[3] Torrey goes on to say that marriage in the
Bible is expressed by a joining together (Matthew
19:6) which can at times result in the creation of special affinities
elsewhere (1 Kings
3:1). The consent of the parites to
be married is also essential (Genesis
24:57,58; 1 Samuel
18:20; 25:41).[4]
In short, marriage was instituted by God in Paradise when
man was in innocence¾before
there was any civil government. It
is to be a solemn, public, contractual relationship entered into voluntarily by an eligible
Christian man and an eligible Christian woman. The state had nothing to do with valid
marriage at its inception and it need not have anything to do with legitimate
marriage now. Furthermore, the state
need not have anything to do with the oversight of the purposes of
marriage: companionship, happiness, procreation, legitimate sexual relations,
and the resulting promulgation of gospel truths to children. It is God who has established and ordained that marriage¾and
its normal result, the family¾be the cornerstone of all social bonds and human
activity. Therefore, the existence of
marriage ultimately depends neither on the state’s approbation nor its
protection of the institution. Indeed, since marriage is honorable (Hebrews 13:4) and necessary for a healthy society, prohibition of marriage by the
state or a religious authority is one of the marks of degenerate times (1 Timothy 4:3).
What is a “license” and what
is a “marriage license”?
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary
defines license as “1 a : permission to act b : freedom of action 2 a :
a permission granted by competent authority to engage in a business or
occupation or in an activity otherwise unlawful b : a document, plate, or tag
evidencing a license granted.” In
general, a license is a certificate or document that grants someone permission
to do something (see Black's Law Dictionary, 4th Edition, p.
1067), and without such permission the act is deemed to be unlawful. A marriage license (p. 1124) is
“a license or permission granted by public authority to persons who intend to
intermarry, usually addressed to the minister or magistrate who is to perform
the ceremony, or, in general terms, to anyone authorized to solemnize
marriages.”
Immediately, we see two
conceptual problems with marriage licensing.
First, marriage is lawful because God said it is lawful, despite any view of bureaucrats to the contrary. The state has nothing to do with ordaining marriage or sustaining it as an institution, no matter how important it deems the institution to be socially. It makes little
difference that the state says a marriage is unlawful apart from its sanction, any more than if the state
were to say that gospel preaching is unlawful without its sanction. Second, God nowhere ordains the
state to oversee or regulate marriage.
The fact that the state has usurped this role does not legitimize its
licensing practices or give it a place in God's economy for marriage.
Moreover, technically
speaking, law is antecedent to the state. Thus, the marriage law has its origin in something else (i.e.,
God Himself). States enact legislation
and issue decrees, but neither of these things can abrogate or modify
the law of marriage established by God.
When did civil (state)
marriage begin in the United States?
The whole idea of marriage
licensing is a relatively new phenomenon.
While states began registering marriages during the nineteenth
century, full-scale licensing did not begin until around the time of the Great Depression. Complete New York City
license records began in 1930. However, some U.S. counties claim to have begun
marriage licensing earlier. For
instance, Platte County, Nebraska’s website
notes that “the first marriage license issued in Platte County was issued in
1858 by A.B. Pattison.” Without seeing
the document, it is hard to know whether this document was really a license or
just a registration. Further
complicating the matter is the fact that Nebraska did not become a state until
March 1867¾nearly a decade later¾and was under federal jurisdiction at the time the "license" was issued. Similarly, the Marion
County, South Carolina website
notes that “The
first marriage license issued in Marion went to Adeline Beal and James C.
Ballard on Nov. 29, 1844. The wedding was performed by John Tucker, who signed
himself ‘Regular Ordained Minister of the Gospel’.” Likewise, the Anderson County, Texas website says: “John Grigsby served as the
first county clerk of Anderson County. He issued the first marriage license to
James M. Martin and Martha M. Metcalfe, on August 20, 1846.” (Texas had finally become a
state a year earlier¾in 1845¾after
years of dispute over its admission).
Again, these statements are not conclusive evidence that the documents referred to were actual licenses where the
state granted permission for the couple to marry, or if they were just some sort
of civil registration that recognized what was sanctioned by the local preacher. By and large, before the twentieth century, most
marriages¾if formally recorded at all¾were noted in the family Bible or expressed in a formal
marriage covenant.
According
to Pastor Matt Trewhella, in his online article 5
Reasons Why Christians Should Not Obtain a State Marriage License,
there were nineteenth-century marriage licenses granted, but only to people of different races who
wanted to marry. Couples of the same race did not have to get a marriage license. For instance, Oregon had racial ordinances regarding marriage
licensing in 1862 and 1866. Other
states, especially in the South, had decrees throughout the nineteenth
century. It was this racial “angle”
that provided the means to greater government authority over marriages.
Trewhella says, “Give
the State an inch and they will take a 100 miles (or as one elderly woman once
said to me '10,000 miles.') Not long after these licenses were issued, some
states began requiring all people who marry to obtain a marriage
license. In 1923, the Federal Government established the Uniform
Marriage and Marriage License Act (they later established the Uniform Marriage and
Divorce Act). By 1929, every state in the Union had adopted
marriage license laws.”
Is
it possible to be lawfully married in the sight of God without a state marriage
license?
One might immediately respond rhetorically to this question by asking if Abraham, King David, the Prophets Ezekiel and Hosea, the Apostle Peter, Martin Luther, and George Washington lawfully married? None of them had a government-issued marriage license. Yet God still deemed them married men rather than fornicators. A
man recently wrote (December 28, 2001) to Ann Landers in the Sacramento
Bee regarding his concerns over the legality of a covenant
marriage.
DEAR
ANN: My stepdaughter said she was married in August, but neither I nor her
mother was present. Also, she never obtained a marriage license from the state.
Her fiancé’s father, who claims to be a preacher, performed the ceremony,
although I have no idea what church he is affiliated with. When I told her she
needed a state license, she said they were "married in the eyes of
God."
The
groom's family thinks this is just fine and dandy, but our family is hurt and
bewildered. They are currently living near his family and seem happy. Should I
accept them as a married couple, even though I suspect that is not the case? Do
I welcome him as my new son-in-law, even though, legally, he is not related to
me? Please tell me what to do.
¾Confused Stepdad in Kentucky
DEAR KENTUCKY STEPDAD: Welcome him into the
family with open arms, and don't ask any questions. If the couple seems happy,
everyone should be pleased. If, down the road, the legality of the marriage
should be questioned, it will be their problem -- not yours. If ever there were
a time when you should MYOB, this is it.[5]
An Evangelical might offer a
more succinct and cogent reply than Lander’s: “Of course it is possible!” In fact, it is the most appropriate
means (or form) for Christian marriage. Why
should the last century of human history in Western Civilization trump God’s
design for marriage that He instituted many millennia ago? Practical theology and Christian practice
are hardly subordinate to modern state mandates. Furthermore, many if not all of the common law rights pertaining to inheritance, next of kin, and adopting the husband's surname, can be initiated (if not obtained) by carefully constructed contractual language in the marriage covenant document.
Is it sinful for
Evangelicals to marry by covenant?
If God ordained the
institution apart from the state as good, holy and useful, then it is not
sinful to enter into it. Thus, the
1689
Baptist Confession of Faith (chapter 25) declares: “Marriage was ordained for the mutual help
of husband and wife, for the increase of mankind with a legitimate issue, and
the preventing of uncleanness. It is lawful for all sorts of people to marry,
who are able with judgment to give their consent; yet it is the duty of
Christians to marry in the Lord.”
Covenant marriage can provide a legitimate, objective document, and a ceremony, that indicate that a couple is married. According to Black's Law Dictionary, 4th Edition (p. 285), a certificate is merely "a
written assurance, or official representation, that some act has or has not
been done, or some event occurred, or some legal formality has been complied
with.” A marriage certificate
(p. 1124) is an “instrument which certifies a marriage, and is executed by the
person officiating at the marriage; it is not intended to be signed by the
parties.” The marriage ceremony
is the “form, religious or civil, for the solemnization of a marriage.” Certainly, a marriage ceremony can
occur and a marriage certificate (covenant document) can be issued through an
Evangelical service of marriage by covenant.
Records of these declarations would be used to evince the lawfulness and validity of the
marriage. It is certainly possible to have a marriage ceremony and to issue a certificate of marriage that affirm the marriage
vows and stipulate that God’s requirements for a lawful marriage have been
complied with.
Is state (civil) marriage
licensing in reality innocuous (or harmless) and not worth protesting?
There are several problems
that arise on account of government marriage licensing. Indeed, marital public policy implies far more than a merely benign registration formality that Christians can participate in without concern. First, the Oregon
Revised Statutes (section 106.210), for example, says that through a marriage license not
only is the marriage “validated”, but also the children that issue from the
marriage are declared to be “legitimate”. The state in effect grants people the
privilege to reproduce! But God granted
people this right (and duty) in Genesis 1:28. The state need not grant a
privilege where a divine right already exists.
Second, under a marriage license (at least
theoretically), children become the produce of a privilege granted by the
state. Thus, they come under the
special dominion or care of the state.
This aspect might provide special concern to Evangelicals when
considering policies dealing with spanking and child discipline, the proper age
of emancipation from minority, obedience to parental authority, requirements to
attend public schools (e.g., truancy rules) or to take certain courses, and the
control of child custody rights in case of biblical divorce.
Third, the marriage license might be
construed as a quasi-contract that obligates the parities to obey the issuer’s
(i.e., the government’s) rules for marriage and family. Surely, this outcome is dangerous and
pernicious for the Evangelical Christian.
Contrariwise, the marriage covenant document, which sets forth the
agreement of the parties in the strongest terms and obligates each party to
legally abide by his side of the “contract”, provides greater facility to
write sanctions, and wider options to enforce them, than a quasi-contract
legislated by an often times wayward civil government. Indeed, the language contained in a marriage
covenant can be very comprehensive and biblically-based, approved both by those
who take the vows and by their elders and/or Evangelical scholars.
Fourth, God’s judgment for breaking the
marriage covenant is far more stringent than the state’s condemnation for so doing. One
might think he can get away with breaking the government license decree with virtual impunity nowadays, but God’s displeasure with such deeds is unabated. The Almighty takes the marriage vows more seriously than the civil government does. “When you
make a vow to God, do not delay to pay it; For He has no pleasure in fools. Pay
what you have vowed. Better not to vow than to vow and not pay. Do not let
your mouth cause your flesh to sin, nor say before the messenger of God that it
was an error. Why should God be angry at your excuse and destroy the work of
your hands?” (Ecclesiastes
5:4-6). Indeed, God says to Evangelicals “let your
'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No’” (Matthew 5:37; James 5:12).
Fifth, preachers marry couples on the basis
of their divine call to Gospel ministry rather than some government
privilege. Otherwise, the state might
authorize too (and perhaps pre-approve) what preachers may say during wedding ceremonies
wherein a government license is granted.
Preachers serve a far higher calling than to become de facto government agents or
bureaucrats.
Many derivative principles
are worth fighting for, especially when the relative cost of doing so is not
great. The state marriage license is an aberration from God’s decree and as
such can be expected to lead to increasing abuses. The state’s usurpation of
God’s ordinances is wrong and perhaps immoral.
Thus, Evangelicals should disabuse themselves of it whenever possible. By doing so, Evangelicals can make a
“statement” by “taking a stand” and they can show God and men the seriousness
of their commitment to please Jesus Christ. They may also show their obedience to Pauline doctrine: "Were you called while a slave? Do not be concerned about it; but if you can be made free, rather use it" (I Corinthians 7:21). When Christians have a means to be freer, they should avail themselves of it.
Why do Evangelicals use
state marriage licenses, seldom questioning their validity?
For that matter, why do Evangelicals incorporate
their churches by state franchise (instead of using private trusts) or put the American flag up in the
sanctuary? Why do they
ask for permission to meet (in some countries) or get building permits to enlarge the sanctuary? One simple reason, however, might
be Evangelicals’ ignorance of public policy issues. Another might be pragmatism. Nonetheless, these questions
open up even larger public policy issues for Christians than can be addressed
here. Suffice it to say that sometimes practices are done
out of convenience, and other times out of a more naïve patriotism. Still other times, Evangelicals do things
because they are so commanded by the civil government. However, Christians should not blindly obey
whatever edict comes down from the state.
Surely, they would disobey any decree prohibiting Gospel preaching or
demanding that they work on Sunday or hire a certain quantity of
homosexuals. Clearly, there are many instances
in which Evangelicals must disobey the state.
The marriage license issue
is a bit more complicated than more "obvious" public policies because it does not
appear to be such a “big deal”.
Nevertheless, the fact is that Evangelicals are not bound to obey any
ordinance of man that usurps an ordinance of God, including the government-mandated marriage license. Whether or not one chooses to disobey the
state and marry without license is a matter of conscience. The fact that the
marriage license seems so innocuous is probably in large measure why the
institution has undergone such little scrutiny by Evangelicals. Yet relative inconsequentiality alone does not
mean the issue is unimportant and not worth bothering with.
Should people with marriage
licenses get divorced?
In the same way that
missionaries who encounter polygamist tribes do not and should not require
divorcing all but one wife upon conversion of a man with multiple wives, Christians need not be
under obligation to get rid of their government marriage license. They are still
married in spite of it, and until such time as public policies on account of it
become onerous, there is really no need to spend a lot of time expunging it
from their folio of legal documents.
Certainly, they may do so on account of conviction and principle, but
not because of obligation.
Is it sinful to marry with a
state marriage license?
This matter may be best
addressed by asking three preliminary general questions. (1) Is something that is unnecessary
sinful? Probably not¾at least not in all cases. (2) Is using some otherwise harmless thing
sinful if others use it in a way that leads them to sin? Usually
not. (3) Is using something sinful if
it is designed to displace or usurp a God-given means, such as worshipping an
idol, building a tower of Babel, etc.?
Always.
It seems that plausible
arguments could be made by different Evangelicals of good will that place
marriage licenses in any one of the three categories above. Obviously, if the marriage license falls
into the third category it would be sinful for an Evangelical to use one. However, it seems that the first category is
the most likely category for the marriage license.
Public policy is riddled with institutions that partly or wholly usurp divine
prerogative. Many of these things are
evil: social security, welfare, public schools, etc. However, many are not purely evil, but rather are inefficient or
ineffective attempts by the state to attain the “common good”. The marriage
license does not appear to have a nefarious beginning (or overarching goal) as
other public policies do. Thus, it is probably not sinful to utilize one.
That is not to say that
Evangelicals should encourage its use.
On the contrary, there is no good reason that they should utilize marriage licenses. There is no purpose in doing so that is
God-glorifying or marriage promoting.
Consequently, Evangelicals would do well to jettison the practice and free themselves from a potential tyranny of the state. The Apostle Paul sums it up well: "You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men" (I Corinthians 7:23).
Notes
1
According to Black's Law Dictionary, 4th Edition (p. 436), covenant is “an agreement, convention or promise of two or more parties, by
deed in writing, signed, sealed, and delivered, by which either of the
parties pledges himself to the other that something is either done or shall be
done or shall not be done, or stipulates for the truth of certain facts."
Therefore, a covenant is a contract based on an agreement. An agreement (p. 89) is “a coming or knitting together of minds; a coming
together of opinion or determination; the coming together in accord of two
minds on a given proposition; in law a concord of understanding and intention
between two or more parties with respect to the effect upon their relative
rights and duties, of certain past or future facts or performances; the consent
of two or more persons concurring respecting the transmission of some property,
right or benefits, with the view of contracting an obligation, a mutual
obligation.”
2 There are also covenant
marriage bills
now pending in Alabama, California, Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas,
Maryland, Minnesota, Mississippi, Oregon, South Carolina, Texas, Virginia, and
Washington.
3
Torrey also summarizes the allegorical application of
marriage found in the Bible. “The marriage relation is used to represent the
union between God and his people (Isaiah 54:5; Jeremiah 3:1-14; Hosea 2:9,20). In the New Testament the same
figure is employed in representing the love of Christ to his saints (Ephesians 5:25-27). The Church of the redeemed
is the "Bride, the Lamb's wife" (Revelation 19:7-9).” Smith concurs: “The allegorical and typical allusions to
marriage have exclusive reference to one object, viz., to exhibit the
spiritual relationship between God and his people. In the Old Testament (Isaiah 54:5; Jeremiah 3:14; Hosea 2:19) In the New Testament the image of
the bridegroom is transferred from Jehovah to Christ, (Matthew 9:15; John 3:29) and that of the bride to the Church,
(2 Corinthians 11:2; Revelation 19:7; 21:2,9).”
4
In Old Testament history, it was contracted during
patriarchal age with near relations (Genesis 20:12; 24:24; 28:2), and parents often contracted marriages
for their children (Genesis 24:49-51; 34:6,8) or at least gave their consent (Genesis 28:8; Judges 14:2,3).
The priests were not permitted
to contract marriage with divorced or improper persons (Leviticus 21:7), and the high priest was also
restricted from contracting marriage with a widow or a profane woman (Leviticus 21:14).
5 See Ann Landers, "Ex-husbands and wives are significant part of child's life", Sacramento Bee, December 28, 2001, Opinion section.
APPENDIX: Sample Certificate of Divorce and Evangelical Covenant Marriage documents
and
The above individuals were joined
in the Holy Bonds of marriage on the thirteenth day of the year of our Lord two
thousand and two, in Taylors, South Carolina, United States of America.
Preamble
John Macarewich Cobin
and Lesle Dean Long, believing that marriage is a covenant relationship created
by Almighty God between a man and a woman, knowingly and voluntarily vow to
unite as husband and wife before God and these witnesses according to the
Commandments of God given in His Word.
We believe that
Almighty God, who sovereignly manifests His goodness and wisdom in all His
works and ordinances, from the beginning created marriage when He formed
Eve as a helper and companion for Adam. We believe the state of marriage is
pleasing to the Lord and that He through His Word provides the divine laws and
ordinances for the governance of marriage. We believe each of us is given
individual and mutual duties in this covenant of marriage and we vow to
earnestly fulfill the responsibilities given to us by God. We
acknowledge that alone in our sinful nature we are incapable of fulfilling
these duties as declared in the Word of God but that through the work of grace
by the Holy Spirit in our hearts we possess the means to overcome our natural
state and thus be obedient to God’s commands.
Our
Solemn Vows
We vow to love, comfort, honor, and keep each other in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse; and forsaking all other, to keep each other, so long as we both shall live. Moreover, we freely and joyfully vow the following individual pledges to each other and to Almighty God:
I, John Macarewich Cobin, born on the tenth day of March in the year
of our Lord one thousand nine hundred and sixty-three, and residing in Ventura
County, California, being a believer in Jesus Christ who is biblically eligible
to marry, do voluntarily, humbly and solemnly vow to take this woman, Lesle Dean Long, to be my lawful
wife, promising never to forsake her; to love her faithfully, and to maintain
her, as a faithful and pious husband is bound to do in following the example of
the great Bridegroom Jesus Christ towards His bride the church; to live holily
with her; keeping faithful and true to her in all things according to the holy
gospel of God.
In accord with
biblical standards for what a husband should be, I promise to lead you, Lesle, as my
glory (I Corinthians 11:3,7), and to provide for your sustenance (I Timothy
5:8), working diligently, and committing my works to the Lord that He might
establish my thoughts regarding our union and family (Proverbs 16:3).
I promise to earnestly maintain a sacrificial love for you (Ephesians
5:25,28; Colossians 3:19) and to dwell with you with understanding (I Peter
3:7), so that I might adore and cherish you rather than arbitrarily rule over you in some harsh or dictatorial manner.
I, Lesle Dean Long, born the fifth day of
June in the year of our Lord one thousand nine hundred sixty-two, residing in
Greenville County, the state of South Carolina, being a believer in Jesus
Christ who is biblically eligible to marry, do voluntarily, humbly and solemnly
vow to take this man, John Macarewich Cobin to be my lawful husband, promising
to love him and to be joyfully obedient to him in following the example
demonstrated by the church in her love and obedience to Christ, to serve and
assist him, never to forsake him; to live holily with him; keeping faithful and
true to him in all things, as a loyal and pious wife is bound to do for her
husband according to the holy gospel of God.
In accordance with
biblical standards for what your wife should be John, I promise to be as well
organized, trustworthy, and hard-working as the virtuous women described in
Proverbs 31:10-31 and Ruth 3:10-11, never forsaking my faithfulness to God,
to you, or to my household (Proverbs 31:11-12). I promise to be submissive to you¾even to the
point of adopting your will and desires as my own (Ephesians 5:22, Colossians
3:18, I Peter 3:1), to be domestic (Titus 2:5) and care for you and the children entrusted to me, to seek the incorruptible
beauty of a quiet and gentle spirit (I Peter 3:4), and to always love and defend you
(Titus 2:4) as your supportive companion.
In submission to my husband, therefore, I hereby affirm my desire and intention to take his surname. Hence, from this day forth, let it be known that I, Lesle Dean Long, voluntarily choose to call myself, and to change my legal name, that I will forever be known as Mrs. Lesle Long Cobin or, if I prefer to use my given middle name informally, as Mrs. Lesle Dean Cobin. I would that others likewise recognize my change of name. My decision is in conformity with our American cultural tradition based on the biblical principle given in Numbers 36:3 and elsewhere in the Scriptures, which indicates that a woman from one Israelite tribe who married a man from another tribe would become, along with her children, part of her husband's tribe.
Prayer
and Benediction
We ask that Almighty
God, who has called us into His kingdom and has united us in the bonds of marriage,
may grant us the presence of the Holy Spirit, so that we, in true love of our
Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and in firm faith of the promises of God the
Father, may live holy lives according to His divine will. We ask for God's blessing as co-heirs of the covenant He established first with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and then with our Lord Jesus Christ and His Apostles for the universal church, that we may bring up children in the fear of the Lord, to the honor of His name, and to the edification of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We beseech the Lord God to replenish us with His grace and grant that we may long live together in all godliness and holiness.
Agreement
Regarding Children, Property, and Common Law Matters
We affirm that all of
our real and personal property shall be owned jointly, unless specifically
registered and titled in our names individually or in trust. We shall affirm this contract even if we choose
to live in a community property state (viz. Arizona, California,
Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, or Wisconsin), that
would deem all property acquired by either of us, as well as together, to be
jointly owned and equally shared. The
laws of the state of South Carolina shall govern the property provisions in
this section, unless written consent by both of us is given to place them under
another jurisdiction.
On the basis of our
solemn marriage vows, we affirm that John’s present six children and any
children that may issue as a result of our physical union¾or
by means of adoption by both of us together¾shall
be our lawful and rightful heirs in the sight of God and, therefore, ought to
be in the sight of men. They ought to
all participate equally in such rights. Any attempt to deny them their right to
inherit property, take their father’s name, or make decisions for their parents
as “next of kin” shall run contrary to our express intent and wishes.
We declare that upon
the death of either one of us, the property owned by the deceased that does not
have a beneficiary designated shall immediately become the property of the
surviving spouse, if living, otherwise to the aforementioned children, equally and per stirpes. If both of us die simultaneously,
our property that does not have a beneficiary designated for it shall
immediately become the property of all of the aforementioned children, equally
and per stirpes. If the these
children and us should die simultaneously, our property that does not have a
beneficiary designated for it shall immediately become the property of all of
our nephews and nieces, equally and per stirpes. Otherwise, if we have no surviving children,
grandchildren, nephews, or nieces, our property shall pass to the dominion,
possession and control of our current or most recent Evangelical Christian
church where we were both members.
We further affirm the common law rights that we as rightfully and lawfully married have: to not have to testify against one's spouse, for the wife to be able take the surname of her husband (which she has declared to be her desire and intention), and to maintain an insurable interest in each other as beneficiaries or co-participants (or dependents) for insurance coverage purposes. Accordingly, we would entreat those courts, government agencies, and insurers to accept our solemn promises contained herein as necessary and sufficient causes for the acknowledgement of these common law rights and benefits.
Closing
In consideration of
the mutual bonds of service and affection that will be rendered to one another
from this point forward, it is our express desire that each of the
aforementioned provisions be enforceable at law and effectual in practice. Accordingly, we hereby attest to these
solemn vows and covenant obligations, with all the associated rights and duties
corresponding to them, looking to the manifest grace of God to lead and care
for us, as His most holy and wise purpose deems best for His glory. Signed and subscribed this thirteenth day of
April, in the year of our Savior two thousand and two.
By Husband and Wife:
_______________________________ _________________________________
John Macarewich Cobin Lesle Dean Long
Before these Witnesses:
________________________________ _________________________________
Thomas Rush, presiding Pastor Phillip J. Temple,
Esquire
________________________________ _________________________________
Joan Cobin, mother of the groom Sylvia D. Long,
mother of the bride
________________________________ _________________________________
Paul F. McClellan, groomsman Francis M. Long,
bridesmaid